Who vs Whom: How to Use It the Right Way

When to use who

In reality, getting the hang of when to use one pronoun and not the other is not as difficult and convoluted as it seems at first glance. The first thing you should remember is that “who” is always used as the subject of a sentence.

Something that no one will teach you, even in the best English grammar books, is a little trick that helps you immediately see which of the pronouns to use. When you don’t know whether you should use who in a particular sentence, try switching it up to a subjective-case pronoun like he, she, or they.

For example, if you are not sure whether to use who or whom in the following sentence:

• Who/whom is responsible for taking my personal documents?

You can try rearranging or answering the question to understand the right pronoun in an example like this:

• He/she/they are responsible for taking my personal documents.

If you can successfully use the subjective-case pronoun in a rearranged sentence and it sounds natural, then the right pronoun to use is “who.” Let’s take a look at some more examples to make sure you get the point of when to use who.

Keep in mind that “who” is used to refer to the subject of a sentence. This means, if we take a look at the case below, we should know the appropriate pronoun in this situation:

Question: Who wants to go out and see the new movie at the cinema?

Answer: They want to go out to see the new movie.

This is a great who vs whom trick that can significantly speed up your process of choosing the right pronoun while you are at the earlier stages of learning this subject. Luckily, this same trick, only slightly changed, can be applicable vise versa to understand the usage of whom, which we will talk about next.

When to use whom

There are many theories out there about what happened to the widespread usage of “whom” and why so many of us don’t utilize it anymore, sometimes skipping it altogether. A few of the professionals in the field of teaching English believe that the language evolves to find an easier and less complicated way to communicate with one another. Others simply don’t find it necessary and that important to carry on using.

With that being said, it can still be important to know when to use whom, at least for your own schooling. On top of that, some formal and educational writings do require the proper usage of whom, so knowing the appropriate time to use it has its benefits.

As a rule, the pronoun “whom” is used as an object of a verb or a preposition. There is also a context in which “whom” is a must to use. It is at the beginning of a sentence or clause. For instance, in sentences like the ones below, using “whom” is the only grammatically correct way:

• To whom >is this letter addressed?
• My dad is the person for whom I want to graduate from high school with straight A’s.

While in the rest of the cases skipping “whom” is acceptable, such a context should always be formed the right way.

When it comes to the trick we mentioned before, the same rules apply as with “who,” except now we need to check the sentence with an objective-case pronoun, like him, her, and them. Let’s say you are not sure which pronoun to use in an example sentence:

• With who/whom should I speak to change our cleaning service?

The test to see the right pronoun is to answer the question like this:

• I should speak with him/her/them about changing the cleaning service.

The difference between who and whom

Diving deeper into understanding how to make a distinction between who vs whom, we can learn how to better understand the trick and accelerate the process of forming the right sentence. As we talked about before, if a subjective pronoun fits, then you should use “who,” while if an objective pronoun does, the correct choice is “whom.”

You might have noticed that most sentences with who/whom are interrogatory, meaning they are positioned as a question. Hence, in most questions, the subject isn’t placed at the start but rather in the middle. For example:

• Who/whom can help me tidy up my room?

To check for the suitable pronoun, we need to change the sentence from interrogatory to declarative, meaning we are now trying to make a statement. In the end, the pronoun that sounds natural indicates whether who or whom should be used. For example:

Incorrect: Them can help me tidy up my room.

Correct: They can help me tidy up my room.

With a subject-case pronoun fitting the best, we can be assured that the right sentence begins with “who.”

There is another trick to telling the difference between who and whom, although it can be more complicated for learners who are starting out with this subject. Still, you can use it and see if it helps you. The trick is to figure out the subject or object of a sentence. Like this:

• Whom did Tom invite to meet his parents?

In this case, the person Tom invited is a direct object of the verb “invite.” Therefore, “whom” is grammatically correct for this instance. As a reminder, don’t forget that “whom” should always be used after a preposition, like “one of whom,” “after whom,” “beside whom,” etc.

Knowing and utilizing these tools to tell the ever-challenging pronouns apart, you should not have issues using the right ones in your writing or conversations. The only question is whether you should and how important they really are.

The answer mostly depends on how you want your speech to sound. For many people nowadays, including native English speakers, the usage of “whom” is not principal and can sometimes be an indicator of formality. Even in some of the best movies to learn English, you are unlikely to notice the dialogue being filled with whom.

The choice is ultimately up to you. Regardless, learning the rules gives you the leverage to speak as you wish.

Final thoughts

The heated debate about whether you should use who or whom in a particular situation has been around for a long time. In fact, it took so long that it ultimately became irrelevant how people spoke to each other. For modern scholars, there are no attachments to “whom,” and it is no longer grammatically incorrect to avoid using it.

However, looking at who vs whom examples and understanding the rules of appropriately forming a sentence gives us the power to make informed decisions about using them or not. Especially considering that in some contexts, the pronoun “whom” is necessary.

In our deep dive into this topic, we explained the difference between who and whom and demonstrated how you can tell them apart in seconds. Be sure to use our tricks and practice your English skills daily to maintain steady progress.